The new era Marauder's: The times they wished they weren't
by glarenotte
Summary: Harry's parents are alive . Snape is a step father . William is a Slytherin . Leon is a werewolf
1. Chapter 1 dares and truths

The times when the new era marauders wished they were not Marauders. Harry's parents are alive. will involve Oc's. Snape is a step father.

"Time one: Dares and truths

"Harley sat back sluggishly glancing at William who mimicked him. Both sets of eyes turned to Harry. Harry gulped it was his turn .

"William chuckled . That was never a good sign , but at least it was not a cackle . " Harry I dare you to follow Snape around calling him mother , or father ."

"Harley chimed in. " I dare you to act like a three year old ."/p

"Leon sourly Jogged into the circle . " I dare you to wonder around in your boxers.

"Harry blinked confused for a moment studying his three friends. Leon was recovering from his dare

Harley looked about half pissed . William was being his usual evil Slytherin self. Harry shrugged standing up . He stripped down to his boxers . He left one sock on . He then wondered out of the Gryffindor common room. The other boys threw on the invisibility cloak over them. They had to crouch together . Harley held the marauder's map whispering to Harry on where to go.

"They found Snape . Harry analyzed his potions teacher. He could back out now. But the hell with it. Snape has been a rather large git lately . Harry wondered up to Snape. In a rather childish pouting voice Harry spoke." Are you my Moma?" Harry stuck his bottom lip out making it quiver . His eyes look two times the size of his normal started to water.

William chuckled quietly . Harley slapped his hand over his mouth . His giggles threatened to break through.

Snape wiped around in surprise only to see a barely clothed Harry. He was confused at first his eyebrows furrowed in . " Excuse me potter could you repeat?" Snape gulped .

"Harry's watering eyes lit up ." Of course Mommy . Are yous my moma?"

;"Snape took a deep breath feeling nervous for some reason. " Potter why are you not dressed?"

"Harry folded his arms against his chest fully pouting . " I was aiting on you mommy . Daddy said you didn't ant me."

" Potter for the sake of my sanity . Who is your father ?" Snape vaguely wanted to strangle somebody. He had no idea why his brain was going along with it .

"Harry looked adorably confused . " Mommy you on'ts remembers me and daddy?. Harry's bottom lip trembled more . He flopped down on the stone castle floors. He left out a murderous shrieking cry. He balled kicking and screaming .

" Harry James potter!"Snape snarled , " Knock it off this instant!"

" Mommy . " Harry hiccuped sniffling .

"What !" Snape roared .

"My middles Name is nots James it's Lucius . Harry Lucius potter."

"Snape turned away muttering . " Must of been his potions home work. No home brewing for potter." He started to walk away.

"Harry screamed after him scrambling up ." Ait mommy I don't know here I am !"

The boys waited behind . Harley was the first one to burst out laughing . William followed behind . Leon rolled his eyes. Harley fell out from under the invisibility cloak.

Snape suddenly rounded the corner . He glared at Harley ." Are you tracking down potter?" Snape hissed.

"Harley wide eyed nodded.

Snape, pushed the nuisance in front of him." It's yours. Are you taking proper precautions with your potions?"Your mother would kill me." Snape huffed .

"Harley nodded growing pale ." Sorry sir , Harry accidentally added to much ..."

"Snape interrupts him. " I know ... You didn't get infected did you ?

"Harry watched quietly .

"Harley shook his head no."

" Good now get him to bed."

"Harry suddenly got spastic and tackled Snape ." noooooooo mommy you can't sell me I got to fart! I gotta fart! I gotta fart!"

" Potter you fart on me and I'll ! And I'll!"

"Harry let a loud stinky one lose.

"Snape was gasping for breath like a fish . Harley stared half in humor and Half in terror.

" Dad.." Harley managed to squeak out.

"Harry laughed like a maniacal peeves and darted off./p

"A shell shocked Snape stared at the ceiling . " I have been violated in so many ways .

"Dad .. " Harley squeaked moving closer.

Snape. scowled "You move any closer and I will rub potter's stench all over you."

"Harley took off down the hall as fast as he could .

"Harry was waiting for him." I have more gas from where that came from. " Harry darkly chuckled shoving Harley in a classroom.

" Harry no no on the code of a marauder do not do it!" Harry kept advancing. " On our friendship Harry don't do it ! " Harry moved closer leaving out small farts . Harley darted to the other side . The door to the class room creaked open . There was a sudden deep growl, and a tackling sound .

"Harley turned to look and there was William in his Black wolf animagus form. Harley gapped in horror closing his hand over his mouth . He squeezed his eyes shut . Bracing himself for it

." Harry was screaming "no no no!"Trying to crawling away. "Dear god no no !"William in his animagus form jumped on Harry again . This time he let a loud one rip. A rather grotesque stench followed . William trotted happily away leaving the other two to deal with his stench . Harry was crying on the floor. Harley was cowering in a corner.


	2. Chapter 2 the new marauder's map

time two : New marauder's Map

Harry's dad's map was good. But when something's good ,why not make it better. They carry the old marauder's map with them. They have a different one for stationary reasons. The new map shows a figurine of the person In hogwarts doing what ever they were doing .It is hidden from eyes that are not marauder's.

It was a fine Sunday morning . Harry was lunging in his boxers like a boss . He was curious what everyone was up to. He did not want to bother with his dad's map it was to far away. So Harry opened the one he and his buddies made. When he opened it ,a figure of Dumbledore was banging a Snape figure . Snape was wearing a throng . Harry collapsed on the ground screaming covering his eyes. He began to hear the sounds . His ears turned pink. A sudden popping sound was heard and the words you have been Maraudered sincerely the Slytherin popped up. Harry peeked through his hands . He gasped in object horror. That was rough. " Is William here !" Harry screamed standing up looking miffed. Harry closed the map .

Leon came tiredly trudging down the steps . " Harry what is it?" Leon quickly scanned Harry for bruising ." Your good ." He mumbled impatiently .

Harry had a crazy wide eye look on his face ." Open the map . "

Leon blinked . "Okay... But do I really have to say it. ... The password."

"Yes the password is awesome!" Harry stomped his foot.

" Harry has a big nice butt, but Harley's is nicer. William is a mutt, and Leon has fur down there." Leon's cheeks were tinged red." A map of Hogwarts unfolded through out the room. Little figurines that looked just like the people they represented went about their business .

" Do you see it ?! " Harry screamed.

Leon blinked even more confused ."See what ?"

" You have to see it ! You have to!" Harry huffed and puffed turning around in circles . Looking absolutely crazy.

" Okay Harry ." Leon had his hands in front of himself in a placating manner. " I see it. Now what do I see?"

" Dumbledore banging Snape." The look in Harry's eyes was insane.

Leon stopped ,blinked, and went back up the stairs ." I 'm going back to bed Harry . Don't tell Harley that . He will hex you for sure!"

" But ,But!" Harry's voice stammered off.

" No Harry you work through your own perversions on your own! I almost forgot Harry is a stag, Harley is a grey wolf, William is not a mutt , but a vicious wolf." The map closed.

Harry pouted mumbling the password . The map opened up.. " This time it was McGonagall and Hagrid .

Harry went threw the same process again .

" Why oh why did we ever give that Slytherin bastard the password !"

William pulled off the invisibility cloak , and tapped Harry on the head. " Because you would miss me to much. You are the one who gave it to me . "

William started to leave the common room . " Wait were are you going?" Harry called after him.

William shrugged. Once William was gone an evil idea popped in to his head . But first came the disdaining task of figuring out what William did to the map.


	3. Chapter 3 the Bachelors add

Time three : Bachelors add in the daily prophet .

Harry snickered evilly sitting at his desk. He had just penned his finest Masterpiece.

All that was left was to read over it .

Hello commoners, and old bloods . I know you have been dying to hear from me. Since I live a reclusive life , in all but Hogwarts . This year I will be a better Pureblood. I will attend your gatherings if invited . I will pick from your Daughters . Yes I William Jadehill Riverstone am looking for a bride to my massive vaults . My pedigree as stands is Potter, black, Greengrass, Burke, Wesley , Lestrange, Malfoy , Crouch, Ollivander , Shaklebolt , Gaunt , Prewett , Avery . My line also may include more of the twenty eight in my twisted Family line. If need conformation please contact _Gringotts ._

Harry blinked that is all good but it is missing something. He placed it back down on his desk.

He wrote in bold letters .I am not a follower of Lord Moldywarts.

Harry looked at this handy work. In all fairness William does call Voldemort Moldywarts. Harry placed it in an envelope addressing it to the daily prophet . He had Hedwig deliver it.

Next morning ..

William was sitting at the Slytherin breakfast table. He was having a rather difficult morning . Ginny through a fit throwing a newspaper at him... He could not figure out what he did to upset the Wesley Girl. He took a drink of his hot tea spitting it every where ... The head line read Riverstone seeking bride . William glanced around him he was surrounded by eager females. ? William gently backed away from his table . Looking for an exit . He saw the doors , but Harry Stood there blocking his only way out . William tossed Harry a pleading look. Harry laughed Evilly .Cause for the life of him he can't figure out what William did to the map.

Harry quickly started to shut the doors . William ran for them . He reached them just as the doors closed in his face . The females slowly approached . William vigorously shook the door. " Harry if you can hear me . Please open up! Harry ! Harry!"

" Oh I hear you William ..? I but I got this feeling. I'm going to enjoy this."

" Potter you open this door , or you will regret it!"

"Yeah , yeah William ." Harry skips away .

Needless to say William was trapped and not a happy camper.


	4. Chapter 4 Grand ma Yack's Pudding

Harley hid he wanted no part of this . Harry was tied to a chair in nothing but his boxers Screaming his head off . Harley may be a marauder but there are certain evils that he would never go through. Grand ma Yack's pudding was one of them. Harley could feel his own vomit threatening to pour from his mouth.

The smell of mashed onions mixed with sour cheddar along with the over power stench of some bodies gross feet permeated the air. Harley watched peeking around the door way as William shoved a rather large spoon full into Harry's mouth.

Harry tried to push the vile substance out . It was chucky, slimy, bitter, and was that a toe nail. It tasted like feet dipped in onions and smeared with cheddar . How was this pudding ... oh not another spoon. Harry's eyes widened and he heaved throwing up .

William some how managed to jump back in time . " Do you concede Harry."

Harry nodded yes . Sniffling Harry spoke," on the bright side I know how we can win against Voldemort . Just feed him that and I guarantee he will never do anything wrong again."

William released Harry.

Harry turned to look at Harley ." You treacherous rotting pile of blood caps I will get for this." Harry angerily huffed.

Harley glared back at him ,"I will sick my rabbit named were wolf on you if do anything to my hair..."

Harry went pale . " You snuck that blasted rabbit in."

Harley nodded ." I snuck that particular rabbit in." He walked away.

" Will Harry vengeance just got complicated so I am in." Clapped his hands together.


End file.
